The Great Mutant Race
by Evil and Kaos inc
Summary: parody of a really old movie called The Great Race.this movie is similar to the wacky races and if you dont know what they are then doom on you ! SORRY ON HOLD TILL FURTHER NOTICE!
1. Chapter 1

hello evil and kaos here

ok so we should be get on with our other fic but this had been bouncing round our heads for ages so we decided to

have a go at a parody and tourcher a few x-men as we go

so with out thurther ado evil and kaos present

**THE GREAT MUTANT RACE**

hope you all enjoy this and please review at the end

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White space

It stretched to infinity in every direction

That is until it was filled

Well what's the use of a big empty space if you don't do something with it

On this occasion the space was filled with a large group of people

Very unique people,

For a few moments they stood there looking round the place (although cus it was a infinite expansion of white this didn't take that long )

Then as one they turned and glared with various degrees of anger, at a one of there group a dark haired teen with a goatee, who looked like a throw back from the 70's.

Forge looked at his friend's and team-mates and new instantly he was in trouble , big trouble

"Um…. Hey" forge gulped

"You" Forge looked towards the speaker, and almost fainted on the spot when he realised it was Logan

"um… y…yes what about me" forge did a quick recalculation of his current situation, and decided he was no longer in big trouble, nope, he was in huge,

SSNIKK

the sound of six very sharp adimantium claws unsheathing them self's made forge recalculate again

Oh god he was going to die

"It was you" Logan growled again

"What do you mean it was me" forge was by now on the verge of a nervous brake down and was actually amazed that he was still standing

"Oh don't you go given us that, we like know it was you Forge so don't try denying it" kitty glared at the inventor

"Denying what I haven't done any thing" Forge wined

As he started to back away from the angry mob of mutants in front of him, some of who were starting to power up

"Oh yer like one of you crazy gismos hasn't transported us to another dimension before" Jean accused

"Hey that was an accident and you know it, I was trying to fix the game cube" forge ducked a snow ball that was aimed at his head

"Oh yer just like you fixed the toaster, we know get only two settings charcoal and cremated" bobby asked another snowball already forming in his hand

"Or the time ya tried to fix the washing machine and it ended up eating all the left socks, we haven't had a matching pair in the mansion for months" Rouge razed an eyebrow

Forge was trying his best to not get hit by the mixture of elemental and plasma blasts that were being thrown at him

"Ok so I admit it there have been a few hiccups, but I swear this time it wasn't my ful…"

Forge was cut of mid-sentence as a small, yellow, time-bomb went off, blowing him off his feet and on to his back,

"You know some how we still just don't believe you" Tabitha smirked, casually filing her nails as if she hadn't done any thing

Forge sat up slightly dazed, and pointed behind the x-men "Oh come on if I had done this do you thing I would have brought that lot here" he croaked, and promptly fell back over, out cold

Every one looked round to see, the brotherhood, Magneto, Mystique, the acolytes, Mesmro, Lucas, and lastly Apocalypse standing behind them

The two groups stood facing each other for a tense minuet until the silence was broken by apocalypse, usually the first mutant had no problem commanding the fear and utter respect that he felt that he deserved,

However the whole effect was ruined by the fact that he was currently wearing nothing except a towel round his middle, still had bubbles on his shoulders and was trying to hide a yellow rubber duck behind his back

"Where are we " he asked ignoring the fact that several people were starting to snigger at him

"Ve have no idea" Kurt replied

"So we were blaming Forge" Bobby added pointing at the inventor who was stumbling back to his feet

Apocalypse shrugged "Works for me"

And with that every one started powering up and aiming at Forge who stood there looking like the proverbial deer in the head lights

Suddenly Professor Xavier rolled in front of Forge preventing the others from attacking

"STOP!" he shouted "I can not allow you to kill him"

Every one powered down grumbling things along the lines of "no fair" and "this sucks"

Forge on the other hand was ecstatic

"thank you, thank you, thank you," he said and started hugging the Professor

The Professor managed to free an arm and pushed Forge away "I said I wasn't going to let them kill you other then that, they can do as they please"

And with that he rolled away

Forge stood there flabbergasted, watching his last hope of evading a thrashing, wheel off into the whiteness (which doesn't sound as good as rolling off into the sunset, but hey were working with what we've got here)

Slowly he turned round (just like in the horror move when you know the serial killer is stood right behind you ) to face the reaming mutants all of who were standing there, powers ready and with smug grins on there faces

"Aw shit!" was all he managed to say before he was blasted

**5 minuets later-**

Every one stood there surveying the damage they had done (which was lots!)

In the middle of it all was a very battered looking Forge "well I hope you all feel better" he muttered before falling flat on his face

"I love the smell of crispy fried inventor in the morning" Pyro quipped

"Darlings that was fabulous…"

Every one span round (they seem to do a lot of that ) to see a fat, snot coloured, alien (for lack of a better word) walking or rather skittering (as instead of legs he had metal spider ones) over to them, making wild arm gestures

"….The passion, the action, the drama, the angst, the hatred, the anger, the violence, the chaos"

_(Kaos - chaos glorious chaos …. Um .. Sorry got a bit carried away there carry on)_

The gathered mutants watched slightly bemused as the alien started shaking there hands

"Um.. who are you" Magneto asked as his hand was shook

"Oh how rued of me I am Master Mojo, producer, director, and manager extraordinaire" Mojo said with a flourish

This statement received a serest of blank looks

At this point Professor X rolled back in (right over the top of Forge)

"Master Mojo, can you please tell us where we are and how we got here" the professor asked

"Oh yes, darling I brought you here" the alien replied like it was no big deal,

"Ha, see I told it wasn't me…." said Forge, as he got to his feet "…and I think you all own me an apology" this statement was answered by the inventor being hit in the middle of the face by a familiar yellow, rubber duck

"I go night-night" now he sighed as he re-aquatinted him-self with the floor again

Ignoring the plight of one of his students, Xavier continued question Mojo

"And why did you bring us here"

"Oh did I forget to mention your all going to be in my newest movie, the Great Mutant Race, you'll be STARS" the last word seemed to echo round the white space

Stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, stars, sta…..

"alright that's quite enough" Mojo shouted at nothing in-particular

Stars, stars, stars, stars,

"I SAID ENOUGH!" the alien bellowed a vein throbbing in his fore head

After taking a few calming breaths Mojo turned back to the gathered mutants

"Sorry, about that you just cant get the staff these days, speaking of staff , SPIRAL!"

As he shouted the air next to him started to shimmer with blue lights and then a six armed girl appeared

"Ah there you are Spiral darling, could you please take…."Mojo was cut of by Xavier

"Master Mojo this quite unacceptable you haven't given us the choice if we want to be in this movie of yours not to mention you have decided to include some of the most dangerous mutants on earth in this little enterprise of yours"

Magneto rolled his eyes "Oh don't be such a stiff Charles, this.." magneto looked at Mojo trying to think of the right word to describe the alien "um.. this being, is doing a movie called The Great Mutant Race, he obviously understands that mutants are the next stage in evolution and that they are above normal homo-sapiens" Magneto stated,

"Eric this is not about mutants vs. humans" Xavier argued back, it took all of two second for them to start there usual getting along /going to war with humankind debate

every one else knowing that this was going to take awhile were standing round making small talk,

Apocalypse and wolverine were standing next to each other

The first mutant looked at Logan who had lit up a cigar

"Um… dose this happen often " he asked as both Xavier and magneto's voices got louder as they agued

"yep all the time", Logan answered blowing a smoke ring, "I've got a case of gin riding on Xavier losing his cool and punching old bucked head right between the eyes"

Apocalypse looked back at the two arguing mutants, Xavier was starting to go red in the face " you know I think you may just win that one"

Mojo on the other hand was not happy, his production was being put behind schedule, so he decided to end the argument him-self, and so walking calmly over to a pedestal that had appeared , he pushed the big red button that was fixed on top of it.

ZZZZAAAAAAPPPPPP

Both Xavier and Magneto were hit by bolts of lightning

Taking a calming breath Mojo walked back over to the two fried mutant leaders

"Right if your quite finished, it time to start filming once you've all been to wardrobe, SPIRAL! "

The 6 armed girl, started to wave her arms and suddenly the group of mutants were raped in blue sparkling lights and transported away leaving just Mojo behind

The alien stood there for a few seconds rubbing his fore head

"Armatures" he muttered "I'm being made to work with armatures"

The air next to him shimmered blue again and Spiral materialize

"Master Mojo there ready for you on set"

Mojo clapped his hands together "Excellent, Lights, Cameras, Spiral baby lets get this show on the road"

And with that Spiral waved her arms and the two disappeared, leaving the infinite white space empty once again

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ok so what did you think plz review and let us know

evil and kaos

PS: we dont own any of the x-men evolution or movie the great race


	2. Chapter 2

hi every one

first we'd like to apologies(sp?) to every one we told that we whould update this story weekly, yes we know were 3 weeks late but the dvd we have of this movie kinda disiapeared for the last 2 weeks and we dint whant to try and write this of the top of our heads and have it end up shity

anyways big thanks to the 3 people who reviewed (reqim17, shiva and kosk17)

hope you like this chapter as much as the last

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A flash of blue lights and Mojo and Spiral appeared on set , where some of the X-men, Acolytes, Brotherhood, etc, were already waiting, all dressed in there costumes for this scene

"Right my lovelies are we already to start" Mojo asked as he sat in his directors chair, only to be confronted by a no so happy looking Magneto

"No, Mr Mojo we are not ready to start " the master of magnetism said with a glow "I have just fished reading the script, and I am most displeased"

Mojo looked at Magneto shocked "Mags darling what ever wrong with the script, I gave you a nice central part and every thing "

"Firstly my name is Magneto not Mags, and secondly the problem with you damn movie is that it's about a car race, I was told it was going to be about the seniority of the mutant race…" Magneto was cut off mid-rant by Mojo

"Mags, Mags" he said ignoring the others man's glare at the use of the nickname "is this all this little pima donna huff its about, I tell you what why don't you and Spiral here go and negotiate and I'm sure we come to an agreement"

And before Magneto could say another word he was raped in blue lights and he and Spiral disappeared

Mojo turned back to the other actors "right dose any one else have a problem with the script" every one but forge noticed a familiar looking box with a red button on top of it, in the aliens hand

Naturally Forge was the only one to raised a hand and was eminently struck by lightning "Ow" he sighs before falling over

"any one else have a complaint" said Mojo his left eye twitching slightly, this was met by silence, "Nope no-one good, hope you've all read your scripts because we only have enough film to do one take of each scene so if ya screw up too much you will end up like forgey boy "

Every one takes a look at forge who is still quietly smoking on the floor and quickly took there places for the first scene .

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**Scene one**

The camera moves across a field and focuses on a hot-air balloon in the middle, it then cuts to a stand which Lucas is standing on

"Ladies and Gentlemen," he shouts addressing the crowd stood in front of him which is made up of all the other actors "boys and girls, freaks and geeks" he quips

"Keep to the script" Mojo shouts from his directors chair

Lucas glairs at Mojo before continuing his speech " you about to witness the most spectacular feat ever attempted by a guy with a stick up his ass,"

"SCRIPT" yells Mojo hand hovering over the big read button

"By the greatest dare devil in the world, The Great Scotty" Lucas finishes, looking like he's just been made to drink acid

The camera turns to look at Scott who's smiles, and by one of those strange flukes of movies the light manages to glint of his teeth, managing to blind half the people standing round him,

"Gahh, my eyes" Evan screams

"And I thought Pietro used to much whitener" said Wanda as she blinks to try and clear the spots in her vision

Ignoring this, random girl number one runs right up and plants a kiss on Scott, only to be pulled away by Kurt

"Ah the perks of being the lead" Scott musses

Lucas glowers at Scott "yer what ever, the Great Scotty" he huffs , "that should have been me" ,before he starts shouting to the crowd again

"He will be strapped into a straight jacket, before you very eyes"

"you know this bring back all sought of bad memories for me" Wanda states dryly from off camera before the flash of a hex bolt and a yelp of pain from Toad is heard "and that always make me feel better" she smirks

Lucas overlooks this trying to get his part done as quickly as possible, "and lifted up into the clouds where eagles sore and no sparrow dares to venture"

The camera moves back to Scott who is tied up in a straight jacket and is having a rope tied round his legs, let it be noted that he's starting to look a bit un easy

"um… this is the part where we swap me with a stunt double right" he asks Mojo, who just laughs

"Stunt double aren't you a kidder we don't even have the money to pay you lot where'd you think we'd get a free stunt man," Mojo keeps laughing as Kurt moves to cut the rope keeping the balloon tethered to the ground, and a drum roll starts

"Oh but I get a safety rope don't I" Scott asks looking greener then toad

"Um… no, now shut it your wasting film" said the alien director

Kurt razes the axe "At least being the sidekick means I get to stay on the ground" the teleported mumbles as he swings down severing the rope that's holding the hot air balloon to the ground

As the balloon lifts off, random girl number 2 runs up and kisses Scott,

"At least the lead gets all the girls" Scott says looking slightly smug, beside the fact he's turned upside down, Kurt pulls girl number 2 off, who's still trying to kiss Scott .

"Where do those girls keep coming from" Mojo asks no-one in particular

As the hot air balloon razes up into the air, the camera looks across to the other side of the field where a very fake looking bush starts moving

It stops and some of the branches move apart to reveal Pietro and Pyro, both looking villainous

"Ha, I get to be the bad guy" Pietro grins

"yay for you" Pyro says "I'm a sidekick, which means any thing bad that's going to happen is going to happen to me, I should make sure my heath insurance is up-to-date"

"gripe, gripe, gripe," Pietro mutters "come on we have work to do"

They move back to revel that there is a giant crossbow and arrow hidden behind the bush

"we got that at a discount from ACME" Mojo quips

As Pietro and Pyro aim there weapon, we check back on the Great Scotty who is still trying to free himself from his straight jacket

"No stunt double, I should sue" he grumbles

"and another X-geek bites the dust" quips Pietro as he pulls a lever firing the arrow, which flies straight at the balloon punching a hole in it

"ha ha bulls-eye" Pyro states as the crowed who have been watching all gasp as they notice the hole in the balloon

"there's a hole in the balloon" forge shouts, even though every-ones visibly already noticed it, and from some where dramatic music has begun to play

The two villains watch from there hiding places, even bigger grins on there faces as the hole gets bigger

By now Scott has got out of the jacket, and is climbing the rope,

"He'll never make it" says Pietro, laughing villainously as Scott finally get up into the basket below the balloon , which is starting to fall

He pulls on a rucksack that was in the basket,

"He'll never make!" says Pietro again

Every one watches as Scott jumps from the balloon, and free falls, for a few seconds then he pulls a string that was attached to the rucksack revealing ……

"A parachute" Pyro says stunned

"A parachute" Pietro repeats equally shocked

"All right pay up, who bet on Scott not making it back down safely" says Bobby collecting money of a number of people in the crowed

Mojo blinks a this for a bit before hitting the red button and zapping bobby

"no betting on set you wasting film" the alien director glared at the scorched teen

Up in the sky, not noticing that people have been betting on his life, Scott looks happy " I'm alive, I'm alive" he gleefully celebrates

"A parachute" Pietro yells "he has a damn parachute"

"well what did you think we were going to do kill of the lead man", Mojo shrugs from his directors chair

"but a parachute" Pietro whines dismayed

"don't think you're the only one who's been disappointed by this turn of events" said Lucas from his stand

"yer I was looking forward to seeing summers go splat too" adds Lance looking pissed off as he hands over a 20 to Bobby, who quickly gets zapped again

"what part of 'no betting' and then being fried did you not get " snaps Mojo

While Pietro's sulking, Pyro looks up at the sky "Hey.. Um.. boss" he says tapping Pietro on the shoulder

"What!" Pietro snaps glaring at where Scott's floating down

"Um.." Pyro points up

Pietro looks up to see the hot air balloon is falling right for there hiding spot

Both run away from the bush a few meters where they think they'll be safe only, as the law of sod works to have the balloon land on top of them

"Aaannnnd cut" Mojo shouts down his mega-phone "get those two out from under there, there needed for the next scene" pointing at where Pyro and Pietro are dazedly trying to disentangle them self's from the remainders of the balloon.

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quick note- any one who has seen the movie may have geussed what parts some people are but for clarity we will explain the main ones at the end of each chapter like so

the great Lesly/Leslie (sp)(some one let me know which of these is right), is Scott (we know this is going to make this a jott story (gah the horror) but we think there are lots of simalaritys between scott and lesly (mainly the huge stick up there asses!)

Hezikiah- is Kurt well he is Scott's best friend

Prof Fate- Pietro (this will make its self clear later on for this choice just wait and see)

Max - pyro just cus we love the crazy pyromaniac

ok so plz plz review and let us know what you think and we will try and update sooner


	3. Chapter 3

ok were back sorry it took so long but we've been really busy lately but to make up for that heres a tripple scene chapter

hope you all like it and we will try and update sooner next time

ps thanks to reviewers etc

* * *

We open back at another field where all the mutants are standing around waiting to start filming again most of them agreeing that the soon this is all finished with the sooner they can get back to there normal lives or plans of world conquest

Mojo however is standing to one side and having a whispered argument on his mobile

"Spiral what do you mean you lost him" he hisses only to have to hold the phone away from his ear as the six armed teleported argues back not so quietly

"Spiral" Mojo try's to cut in but is obviously cut off by more yelling "SPIRAL" he yells "look I don't care how you do it just get him back here by his scene other wise your going to find your self back working at McMojo's understood

Snapping the mobile shut he turns to find every one staring at him "um… right is every one ready to start" a few mumbled yeses are the only replies he gets, shrugging he carries on

"ok , just one small thing, it has come to my attention that there are a few gamblers among you and as it seems zapping you has not stopped this I will compromise, so here it is , all bet and I mean all of them are to be made before we start filming and the winnings after we've cut any one braking can and will be zapped" he looks round to see if this is having any effect only to find every ones attention is on Bobby and Lucas who is up on the little stand

"All right every one we have 2 to 5 odds on Scott being maimed by half way" Bobby yells out while Lucas takes down who's betting on what

Mojo rubes his temples before deciding enough is enough, and hit's the lightning button, which ended in forge being hit again

"Ow" the inventor cokes before falling over,

Mojo ignores this and speaks to the mutants who are all listening to him again, "time to start again darlings" the alien shouts down his mega phone

* * *

Scene two 

Lucas is standing back up on his stand yelling at the crowed

"Ladies and Gentlemen you are about to witness a feat so dangerous that only one man would dare attempt it" Lucas blinks "dose any one else feel like this has already happened" he asks

"Keep to the script you" Mojo yells before also blinking "haven't we already done this" Lucas just shrugs and yells at the crowed some more

"The Magnificent Professor Maxermoff"

The camera swings to Pietro who shrikes a pose, while the crowed all strand there looking bored

"your meant to cheer you know" Mojo says "don't make me start zapping" the crowed start cheering like there lives depended on it (literally)

Lucas is still yelling on his little stand "the professor will defy death, as his assistant swoops down from the sky and snares the professor of the ground and lift him into the air.

The cowed cheered some more as Pietro who is attached to a harness which is fixed to a rope signals to Pyro who is sat in an old fashioned plane, starts the engine and takes off down the field

He circles low over the crowed before lining up and hooking the rope that Pietro is attached to

All this goes off with out a hitch, and Pietro soon finds himself hang a below the plain but also a little to close to the ground for comfort

"Now I know why Summers wanted a stunt double" he grumbles "up Pyro, bring it up" he yells

"Going up" Pyro answers but soon finds that the plane wont go any higher then it already is

"up Pyro you idiot" Pietro yells as his feet scrape the ground for a second

"she's up" Pyro yells back still struggling with the controls "There's too much weight"

"are you saying I'm fat" Pietro shouts indignantly, just before he notices that there heading straight for a barn

"PPYYYYRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO" he yells just as he goes thought a window and landing in a pile of hey and chicken feathers

Meanwhile the plain has gone over the barn, before landing in a pool of farm yard muck, Pyro still at the controls looking slightly dazed

Freddy who is dressed as a farmer just stands there watching all this before turning as he hears the barn door open revealing a battered looking Pietro all covered in feathers

He gives a sad little laugh as he spits out feathers "I'd like to see the Grate Scotty try that one" he says before giggling again and falling over backwards

"And cut" Mojo shouts "right get those two cleaned up were moving straight on to the next scene

* * *

Scene three 

This time we open up on a lake, next to a pier Kurt is sat in a powerful looking speed boat checking over the controls while Scott is stood talking to Sam, Roberto and Ray who are all dressed up as reporters

"Mr Scotty" Sam asks " after to day you will have broken every speed recorded in the world..

"or every bone in your body" Ray quips

"hey sparky just cus zapping you has no effect doesn't mean you can mess with the script" Mojo says

After a few more questions from the 'reporters' Scott excuses him self and gets into the boat

While all this is happening on the other side of the lake some bushes part and Pyro (who has a bandage round his arm) and Pietro (who has a bandage round his head) appear pulling a torpedo on wheels along behind them

"you know if we keep appearing like this people are going to get ideas" Pyro says

Pietro roles his eyes at this "shut up and be careful you idiot or you blow us both to kingdom come"

They stop at the waters edge and Pietro puts a telescope to his eye, by another one of those little flukes of movies the camera shot immediately changes to show us what he can see

"right he's in the boat" Pietro says as they push the torpedo into the water

"You've properly tested this" he asks Pyro looking at the missile warily

Pyro nods "yep, all you have to do is throw this switch and it homes in on the loudest engine noise" he points to a little gramophone thing stuck to the top of the torpedo

"excellent" Pietro grins as he flips the switch and the bomb takes of after the speed boat Scott is racing round in

The two villains make the escape and run to where there car is parked in the woods, Pietro gets in while Pyro turns the little handle thing that you used to have to use to start a car , and the engine starts with a few splutters and several very loud bangs

They drive off down the road the engine still letting of bangs while back at the lake no-one seems to notice the torpedo catching up the boat, however just as its about to impact the gramophone thing picks up on the louder noise of the Professors car and changes direction, quickly getting to the lake edge where cus its still on its wheels it can move over land,

Neither Pietro or Pyro notice the torpedo is now following them and are still celebrating getting rid of Scott, as they go round a bend in the road and out of camera shot the missile closes the distance between them and there is a large explosion , followed a few seconds later due to classily ironic movie humour a tree topples over

"And cut" Mojo shouts again "that was classic people, some one go and find out if those two idiots are in one piece, we've got one more scene to shoot before we finish in this location"

* * *

Scene four 

Pietro and Pyro are at a railway track, standing next to a rocket with seats in it (so sue us we couldn't think of a better way to describe it) looking a little worse for ware

"a little worse for ware" Pietro wines as well as the bandage round his head there's one round his right leg "how'd you like being blown up"

"Yer, adds" Pyro who's also got a bandage round his head "you know we should sue"

"oh will you two stop griping your wasting film" says Mojo who's sat in his directors chair

Still grumbling, they strike a pose as there photo is taken, before Pietro walks or rather limps off to talk to Sam, Roberto and Ray, who are still dressed up as reporters

"gentlemen I intended to cover the measured mile in approximately 12 seconds" Pietro says hoping to impress, this blows up in his face as the reporters start laughing

"yer yer everybody's a critic" ignoring them and the rest of the crowd who have started laugh thing as well Pietro limps back over to the rocket car where Pyro is already sat waiting

"Activate the rockets" Pietro says taking his seat

Pyro lights the fuse and the rockets ignite propelling the car forward on the rail tracks and leaving behind a slightly scorched crowed

As they speed along Pyro looks at the speedometer which reads 150mph "hey look how fast were going"

Pietro gives a I'm so not impresed look knowing he can run faster but not whanting to be hit by lightning wile sat in a highly combutable rocket car he goes with the script

As Pyro continues to read out the speed "170"

"I'm going down in history" Pietro laughs hysterically

"190" Pyro reads

"they'll erect a monument to me," he cries

The rocket is going faster and faster along the track till only the enveitable can happen and it takes off

Pietro hasent notices this however as his still laughing and selibrating his sucses, however Pyro knows some things wrong and taps Pietro on the sholder

"Hey professor, professor"

"What" Pietro asks annoyed that his celibrations are being interrupted

Pyro dosent says anything, he just points at the birds that they seem to suddenly be very close too

The two look at each other then very slowly look over the sides of the rocket to see that, yes they are flying throught the air, both quickly sit back up there eyes tight shut before suddeny the rockets that are keeping them up cut out

"well hands up who didn't see that one coming"quips Mojo who is sat watching nice and safe on the ground

Back up in the air as they hear the rockets die both Pyro and Pietro's eye snap open, both wering identical expressions of "aw shit" befor they grab each other as the rocket plunges back down to earth only to land in the same puddle of muck that the plane landed in two secnes back

Freddy who is still stood there wactches as first Pyro then Pietro heads slowly ries from the muck

Spitting out some mud Pietro looks about for a second

"well there another one Scotty can try on for size" he comments dryly

"and that's a rap people" Mojo shouts for the last time just as a well flung hand full of mud cutacy of Pietro hits him in the face

"I hate you" he splutters wiping mud out of his eyes

* * *

ok so plz review and let us know what you think 


	4. Chapter 4

well here's the next bit of our parody

thanks to **shiva** for reviweing again , um sorry to tell you this but , yes jean is going to be the lead lady , sorry , we hate jott as much as the next person but for this story it just works but this is going to be the only time that they are ever good leads

hope you are all enjoying this plz let us know by reviewing at the end

* * *

Well a few last things are being set up on set ( and the last of the bets are being arranged back stage), Mojo has found him self cornered by a not so happy pair of villans

"I swear if I land in one more pile of pig shit I'm quiting" Pietro argues

"aw come on it cant have been that bad it all washed off didn't it" Mojo asks

"Are you kidding were having to go round with pine scented car fresiners so people don't keep complaining about the smell" Pietro proves his point as he and Pyro hold up little cardboard trees that are hanging round there necks

"look that was the last time I promises" says Mojo with his fingers crossed behind his back

Now go get ready we have to start filming again

Scene five

We open up in a very posh looking board room were all the grown up mutant men are sat round a long table looking self important

"How come it is only men at this meeting" Jason wispers to Sabretooth

"Cus a woman's place is at home in the kitchen" the feral mutant fishes this sentence just intime to be hit by a thunderbolt

"I go to sleep now" he mumbles before falling face first agenst the table

Every one sat around the table looks at Mojo

"Hey don't look at me" the alien director points to were all the women mutants are all standing looking pissed of, Storm has ligtrning cracling round her hands

"Any one else have any thing else to say on a woman's place" she askes

All the men look from Storm to Sabertooth who's fur is all singed and back to Storm, as one they all shake ther head

"Good, carry on then"

Scott who has been standing at the haed of the table gives a little cough before starting to walk round the table

"Gentlemen I've requested this meeting in order to make you a proposition, in my oppinion your company manufactures the finest auto-mo-biles in the world. The auto-mo-bile represents progress in the most profound sense of the word, the ultimate example of american ingenuity and enterprise. This great nation can't take a back seat to compeditors like Daimler, Mercedes or Rolls-Royce to name a few. Gentlemen I prepose to prove that the american auto-mo-bile, your auto-mo-bile……. "

"Which you cant prenonce with out sounding every syllable" Mojo grumbles

"…. is with out peers" Scott finishes his speech, to see that every one round the table is looking very board and in the case of Xavier is puuting up Z's

"and just how do you prepose to prove that sir" Mesmero asks

"a race" Scott says simply ignoring the snikers from several of the people sat round the table

Mesmero looks unimpressed "really sir, you surprise me, automobile races are becoming most comen place"

"I mean a long race, a very long race" Scott continues

Mesmero still looks unimpressed " how long a race" he asks

"New York…." says Scott as he pusses a model car down the table which stops in front of Mesmero

"..to Paris, you must build an auto-mo-bile to the most precise specifications" Scott doesn't get to finish what he is saying as he is interrupted by a very bad sounding Scottish accent

"No" a man who looks a lot like Professor Maxermoff with a beard stands up "absolutely not" he says "for a company of this repute, a great company the likes of this one entrusting it entire automobile future to a man the likes of Scotty is disreputable, a cheap carnival performer, a fraud, a trickster"

He turns to see Scott standing behind him, and with out any warning Scott yanks at his beard

"Ow, ha mad man" the mystery man yells ignoring Scott who is trying to apologies

"you see he his mad he almost pulled my beard out by it's roots" the mystery man complains pulling at his beard only to have it come off in his hand revealing that he is in fact professor Maxermoff with a fake beard glued on

The room goes very quiet as every one looks at Pietro who looks at Scott before jumping up and over the table and over to a window which he flings open, turning back round he yells

"Scotty will lose, your automobile will lose, I will win" he finishes then laughing like a loony he dives out the window"

"He jumped" some one gasps as they all run over to the window in the morbid fascination of what a body looks like after falling from a 5th storey window

However they are all disappointed as they find out that Pietro is safe or as safe as you can be hanging from a flagpole

"you know we really should demand stunt doubles" he grumbles looking down at the street below

"yes and you've been told we can't afford them" Mojo replies with all the confidents of some one sat safely in the director's chair on the ground

Sill grumbling Pietro carry's on with his lines

"I shall build the greatest automobile the world has ever seen and I shall win"

Down below on the street a car with a trampoline attached to the to of it, moves into place underneath Pietro

Pyro jumps out of the car "ok professor" he yells

Pietro is still yelling at the car-company executives

"This time it will not be Scotty but me, professor Maxermoff, Maxermoff the magnificent who will be victorious"

With this the professor lets go of the flag pole to fall and land safely on the trampoline however this doesn't quite work as he bounces back up, and just as Pyro drives off he comes back down to land not back on the trampoline again but to fall through and open manhole

"and cut" yells Mojo "good work people, some one do me a favourer and see if young Mr Maxermoff is ok"

"Oh I'm just fine" says a voice behind the director

Mojo turns round to see Pietro standing there covered from head to toe in

"sewage" the speedster yells "I fell into a bloody sewer"

Mojo who now like every one else has a hand over his nose dose the only thing he can "car freshener" he offers holding up a little green tree

* * *

sabeertooth walks out of story

**sabertooth:** you zapped me i thought you two liked me

**kaos:** yes as far as yousing you to thretan anybody whos going to flame us you nice enough

**evil;** as far as sexest asshole you deserve every thing you get

evil hits big red zap button and fries sabertooth again

**sabertooth:** ow! falls over smokeing

**kaos:** review other wise you end up like him


End file.
